THE DAILY DIRGE — Street Evangelist Coaxes Unbelievers With Toilet Paper…Hundreds Saved

BUSHWHACK, Texas — Like in most towns across America fighting to survive the COVID-19 pandemic, life has changed for just about everyone in Bushwhack. Everyone that is except for local street evangelist and fifth member of the Bushwhack Baptist Quartet, Charlie Ton.   Known for his theatrical and often controversial approach to evangelism, Charlie sees the…

Hellsong High Priest Dead at 62

LITTLE ROCK, AR—Festus K. Drummond (1958-2020), Satanist and blue grass enthusiast, died violently and very much awake yesterday evening in an abandoned grain silo after a long battle with terrible life choices. High Priest of Hellsong United Church of Little Rock for over four decades, his was a ministry pockmarked with controversy.