‘Twas the night before Christmas when came over knoll Seven men hauling haversacks weighted with coal. Their journey was labored, the start came by scythe- A car crash, an illness, a fall from great height.
A man who sat down to have a personal Bible study was shocked when he received divine revelation from God that he was the long-awaited Prophet Elijah. Robert Allan Chaff (A.K.A., the Prophet Elijah), a former member of Revelation Church in Matthews, NC, had given up on organized religion opting instead for “spirit-led” quiet times…
In the sands there was a singing, A song of tortured wonder, With a hunger that was stinging In the land of little thunder.
At first I gave only a crumb. The raven swallowed and returned the next day bearing a solitary teardrop pearl. Next a diamond ring, purchased with a disc of deli meat. The following day it appeared larger, keener.
Corporate worship got you down? Tired of all those exhausting trips to church, kids screaming in the backseat, only to sit through the dull droning of another Sunday sermon? It’s easy to stream your family’s favorite weekly service from your living room, but what about those pesky sacraments?
Construction begins this week at the Woke Place of Unspecified Worship after a fight broke out in the latter part of Sunday’s observance of the Unseen Being. The conductor of the WPOUW, Alec Stone, announced plans to compartmentalize the general gathering room along ethnic and racial lines.
LITTLE ROCK, AR—Festus K. Drummond (1958-2020), Satanist and blue grass enthusiast, died violently and very much awake yesterday evening in an abandoned grain silo after a long battle with terrible life choices. High Priest of Hellsong United Church of Little Rock for over four decades, his was a ministry pockmarked with controversy.