This blog as a whole is intended to address women, but this excellent video from Gavin Ortlund over at Truth Unites easily applies to the discussion of gender (biblical expressions of both male and female) within the church. Dump your cultural ideas of masculinity. Christ is the ideal man!
I’d also recommend Nancy Pearcey’s book The Toxic War on Masculinity: How Christianity Reconciles the Sexes.
Bone of Bones 
This video nails the reason why men avoid church: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=20unxZM9-0A
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I think it’s definitely possible to fall into the ditch on either side. It depends on what tradition you’re in. For most American churches (but not all), I think hyperfemininity tends to be the prevailing issue. In a Reformed context, hypermasculinity is more often the problem (but, again, not always). The biggest takeaway is that we should be modeling our understanding of masculinity on Christ, the ultimate man, and not on cultural ideas of gender. Also, the church should not be seeking to attract men or women specifically, but should be modeling itself on biblical principles.
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The immorality of effeminate worship cannot be understood apart from the dissolution of marriage and the institutionalization of premarital sex.
What is the moral authority that both justifies and purifies sexual immorality? Answer: romantic love! Once we assigned morality to romantic love then romantic love replaced marriage as the place where sex takes place.
The purity movement was framed around the atheistic morality of romantic love. The creep factor of daughters dressing up as prom dates or brides as they pledged purity to their fathers is that romantic love is always sexual even when the relationship is non sexual. Sons and mothers never performed this same ceremony for obvious reasons.
Romantic love in worship is effeminate worship and equally creepy because romantic love is always sexual!
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We definitely have an unhealthy obsession with the concept of romantic love in our modern context. And you’re right, this has crept into the church, particularly with the “Jesus is my boyfriend” style of worship music.
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Please excuse my bad writing! Being homeschooled by an immigrant mother never set me up to win a pulitzer!
That being said, I hope the creep factor behind the purity movement helped expose the creep factor of effeminate worship?
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You’re being silly! Your writing was well-framed and articulate, and the point well-made. : )
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